a tasty morsel

In addition to free shoe shines, the awesome bank where I work gives free copies of USA Today.  So when I’m not shining shoes, I’m generally reading the paper (yes, I get paid to read the paper) or solving the Sudoku or the crossword puzzle. Sometimes I cheat and use a Crossword Puzzle Dictionary, but how am I supposed to know that a “Still-life pitcher” is a “Ewer”? Just so you know, apparently it also has ears. So listen up, Ewer! Nobody knows what you are!! You are, for all practical purposes, insignificant! Just be thankful you have two Es or you wouldn’t even make it into crossword puzzles.

So when I was reading the paper today, I noticed a small ad from the USA Today.  It basically said that now you can have the complete newspaper emailed to you each day.  You can go to some website (I recycled the paper, so I didn’t write it down) to try it for free.  I’m assuming that “try it for free” means “and if you like it, then we’ll charge you.”  How lazy do you have to be that you can’t type in usatoday.com into the address bar? And why on earth would you ever pay for that “luxury”?

This last weekend, my friend, Amanda, got married in a beautiful ceremony. It gave me the chance to pull out my new, fancy dress. I’ve worn the same dress to every wedding (other than my own and Yessica’s… since I was the matron of honor) for the past three years. When a wedding last month was approaching, I took the plunge and bought a new one.

The magpie in me was drawn to the sparkles. Ooooh… sparkles! Cacaw! Cacaw! It almost gives off the impression that they’re rhinestones, but in fact it’s glitter.

So when I was driving to church the next morning and found a piece of silver glitter on my hand, I was reminded of one of my favorite Demitri Martin quotes, “The thing about glitter is if you get it on you, be prepared to have it on you forever. Glitter is the herpes of craft supplies.”