Archive for September, 2009

Wonders Of Wonders, Miracles Of Miracles

Wednesday, September 30th, 2009

A couple of weeks ago, I mentioned that my beloved was one sexy, ordinary saint. Well, my friends (and the rest of you), I have joined him in ordinary sainthood.

I must admit, that without a ceremony it seemed a bit mundane. But what it lacked in pomp, it made up for in fabulousness! My hot and holy picture was featured on the cover of the bulletin (seems insignificant… except we’ve got like 8,000 people that come to our church every weekend) as well as on the website this week (we’re actually both on there this week, making it possibly the sexiest church website ever!). Check out my debut of sainthood.

ordinary-saints-blip-tv-9-27

Brandon thought the picture looked more mischievous than saintly. In his mind it was:

mischievous-saint

Let me tell you, it’s not easy being an ordinary saint. I have yet to decide on my saint day. I’m considering October 26th, as I’d get to share it with Alfred the Great. I don’t know anything about him, but from his name, I’d guess that he’s the patron saint of nerds that do Live Action Role Playing (yes - I see the redundancy in that sentence).

Plus, I’m finding it difficult to perform ordinary miracles. Brandon’s first miracle came so easy to him. What am I doing wrong? I thought for sure that I’d at least get something for free. Or that maybe my jeans would fit looser. I wasn’t expecting the Chiefs to win or anything (I’ll leave that up to the extraordinary saints), but just something! I’ll keep you updated as the saintliness progresses.

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Hair Dos… And Don’ts

Sunday, September 27th, 2009

A man around 50 was getting his shoes shined the other day, and here was part of the conversation:

Man: You’re wearing your hair weird again.

Me: Huh.

Man: You should wear it normal. Do you even know what your hair would like like normal? You probably don’t, do you?

Me: I’m not sure.

Man: Remember when you had your hair orange or pink or green? That was just awful.

Me: I’m pretty sure I’ve never had my hair orange or pink or green.

Man: You should wear your hair normal. One day, you’re going to be thinking, “That Kent told me that I should wear my hair normal.” Then you’re going to wear it normal, and you’re going to think, “I should have been doing this all along.”

So I’m sure you’re on the edge of your seat wondering just how shocking and awful my hair must be. I am prepared to show you a picture, but I must worn you that it is quite repulsive. You shouldn’t look if you’ve got a weak stomach, but… if you think you can handle a glimpse of the appalling tresses, keep looking.

weird-hair

*shiver*

I was considering going as a 2 headed corpse this year for Halloween, but on second thought - I might just go as myself. It’s obviously more gruesome.

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Glowing Reviews

Thursday, September 24th, 2009

dave-cat-and-kitties

Dave Cat paid our cats a visit the other night.  I’m pretty sure he’s got owner envy, but unfortunately for him, no matter how much he makes his eyes glow, we are NOT taking in another cat.  Though I do wish our cats could make their eyes glow every once in a while.

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Oh Lord, I Want To Be In That Number

Tuesday, September 15th, 2009

Church of the Resurrection is getting ready to launch a new worship series called, “Ordinary Saints” starting this weekend (9/20/09) and continuing the following three. You can even watch it online at live.cor.org.

God seeks to walk with us in our ordinary lives, calling us to become ordinary saints - people who are led by the Holy Spirit and who experience God in our everyday lives.

It should be a fabulous, meaningful series, but let’s move beyond that and get to the best part.  Take a look at the poster child for the series.  Recognize this holy hottie?

And by "Ordinary," they mean "Sexy"

Yes, I’m married to an the ordinary saint of all ordinary saints.  And even since this came out in the bulletins and on the web, we’ve experienced an ordinary miracle!

Last night, we went out to eat at Houlihan’s, and their computers just happened to go down right when we were getting ready to pay. So the manager came over and informed us that we were the lucky winners of a free dinner that night.  Now you may think it was just a matter of technical difficulties and good customer service, but I’m a firm believer that it was the hand of God and an angel in disguise looking out for those most in need of blessings - middle class suburbanites.

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Playing Catch-up

Tuesday, September 8th, 2009

I know it’s been a while since I last blogged.  Let me catch you up on my last week and half or so.

- There is a cunning temptress found in your kitchen. She lies dormant for much of the time, planning and plotting how she can ensnare you. She waits until you’re baking cookies or a cake, knowing your focus is on the end product. This is when she makes her move. She comes in the form of gooey, tasty batter. Resistance is futile. Every part of you wants her. You must have her. Just one lick… There’s no going back now. What’s done is done. She has made her conquest and you will pay dearly. I know, because I found myself in her arms… and then staring into the toilet. You’ve heard that you shouldn’t eat raw dough, and I had the blood shot eyes to prove it.

- My computer is gasping for its last breath.  I knew it was only a matter of time.  It’s five years old, which in computer years is 97 (1 computer year = 19.4 actual years).  I’m sure the I.T. department at the church is thinking, “At least it wasn’t one of ours this time.” My new computer should get here either the end of this week or the beginning of next - and no, it’s not a Mac. As Stuff that White People Like pointed out, I don’t need to creatively check my email or creatively browse the Internet or creatively play Free Cell.

- Brandon and I watched the first two seasons of Dexter. It’s too gory for some, but there’s something endearing about this sociopath. As far as serial killers go, he’d be at the top of my list to play Scrabble with. BTK never did it for me… not even close… at all. Plus, you can’t use abbreviations in Scrabble.

- I learned that there is this elite group of astronauts and other aviation specialists that call themselves the Conquistadors. This was the best news I had heard in quite some time. I dream of a day when this word is part of our regular vocabulary… unless it involves actual conquistadors killing people and destroying everything in sight.

There’s more, but I’m sure that’s enough for now. You don’t want to fill up on too many morsels at once.

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