Archive for July, 2009

Party Like A Rock Star

Thursday, July 30th, 2009

I have a hypothesis - If you’re on your way to a party, and the host calls to ask if you can pick up some ice, your best move is to say, “yes,” and then pick up some dry ice - as it is the rock star of all ices. Not only will they be wildly impressed (not to mention surprised!) when you get there, but you can say, “I came here tonight with a rock star - an ice rock star.”

A quick update to yesterday’s post on bra hooking - last check, it was neck and neck. So pass the survey along to your friends to have their votes count. Come on people - rock the vote!

What Kind Of Hooker Are You?

Wednesday, July 29th, 2009

I just overheard a group of women saying, “Let’s ask Janelle!!” I sat here anticipating the crucial question and wondered what kind of insightful opinion I would have to offer. I was sure my wise counsel could be of help to their desperate situation.

Around the cube they came.

Women: When you put on your bra, do you hook it in the back or do you hook it in the front and turn it around?

Me: What do you mean - hook it in the back?

Women: Do you put your arms behind your back and hook it that way?

Me: No. Who does that?

Apparently quite a few women (and I suppose experimental men) do. Over half of the women polled use blind contortion to put on their undergarment.

I admit that I sit here completely confused. Why would you…? Why don’t you…? I thought everyone hooked it in front and turned it around!! It seems so obvious!

So for those of you bra-wearing, morsel readers - what kind of hooker are you? Front and turn or back?

Click Here to take survey

It’s anonymous and there are no right or wrong answers - just some that are better than others.

Ratings Rumble!

Monday, July 27th, 2009

We are just days away from what is most certainly the highlight of the year for couch potatoes and surfers alike - Shark Week on The Discovery Channel. It’s a most fascinating week full of our flippered friends - highlighting facts and debunking myths. Did you know that people are 15 times more likely to be killed by falling coconuts than sharks? I look forward to seeing that horror movie one day.

And as this week approaches, I’m reminded of my dream that The History Channel dedicate that same week to jets and their place in aviation history. Shark Week vs. Jet Week. It would be the West Side Story of the Neilsen ratings. Glorious!!! It would be glorious!!

Putting The Words In My Mouth

Thursday, July 23rd, 2009

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I adore my friend, Alison (seen above - tall blonde on the right with “Jessica Simpson” hair, or as we now say, “Just one more notch in Tony Romo’s weight belt” hair).

Alison is smart, kind, adventurous, fun, she’s got deep convictions, she’s incredibly musically talented and, as you can see, she has beauty on the outside to match. And normally, she’s quite easy to hang out with - with one exception… if there is food involved.

Picky doesn’t even begin to describe her. I drove for miles and miles with her on I-55 praying that there would be just one restaurant on the exit signs that would meet her palate standards. I nearly left my faith on this venture, assuming God had not nor would not hear my prayers.

And another example - this is an actual conversation we had -

Alison: Where do you want to go to lunch?

Me: I don’t care. You’re the picky one. You choose.

Alison: No you choose, really. I can eat anywhere today.

Me: Why don’t you just choose?

Alison: Seriously, just choose, and I’ll find something to eat there.

Me: Okay, why don’t we go to Mimi’s Cafe then?

Alison: Well, anywhere but Mimi’s Cafe.

But I will say that these finicky ways make her perfect to host her new food blog, gimme some oven. It’s informative, beautiful and very well done. Even I (who the cats assume that any time I enter the kitchen, I must be there to give them treats) really enjoy reading this. So ready and enjoy. Bon appetit!

Crazy Talk

Tuesday, July 21st, 2009

If you like documentaries, crazy people and/or women with scarves on their heads, do I have the recommendation for you!

Grey Gardens, the documentary, has been getting some attention lately since HBO made a movie of the same title (Drew Barrymore - surprisingly not awful in it!). It’s about the eccentric aunt and cousin of Jackie Onassis that lived in this dilapidated house in the Hampton’s with their many cats ( they put extra “crazy” in “crazy cat lady”), raccoons and fleas. I could try to describe it for you, but 1. Even Noah Webster would be at a loss for words and 2. Even if I had the words, any lobotomy-free brain couldn’t possibly comprehend them. Here, check out a clip:

See?

Another recommended viewing would be Flo & Kay: Twin Savants on the Discovery networks. It’s about the lives of identical twin autistic savants with an incredible memory and an obsession with Dick Clark. I put a clip below, but here are the upcoming times for the show on Discovery Health. I smell an Emmy… or that might be popcorn. Hard to distinguish.

Sanity is so boring.

Oh Baby!!

Sunday, July 19th, 2009

I hate that most people are finding out this way, but we have news. And trust me, we were as shocked to find out as I am sure many of you will be.  I suppose by the title you’ve already guessed it, but just in case you haven’t… Sherlock is going to be a daddy!!  I know!  We didn’t even know he was trying.

Yesterday we got an email from the lady that fostered him giving us the big news.  We knew that there was a slight possibility.  While there, he had been separated once he started showing signs that he was interested in knowing the ladies… in the Biblical sense of the word. But the day before he came to live with us, the day he got neutered, a maintenance technician left the door open and Sherlock got out and started making his moves.  I’m guessing that he figured that he had one last day to use the thing, so he better make it count. Our little Don Juan made his Mark-o.

But now he’s done with her, and he’s come to love the embrace of another cat - Zoey.  Check it out:

I’m worried that this is creating yet more gender identity issues for Zoey.

Cake Wrecks

Thursday, July 16th, 2009

Our favorite cake baker linked to this site off of her awesome blog.  It’s a must see.  You’re welcome.

Born To Be Wild

Monday, July 13th, 2009

A few months ago we put in a bird feeder outside of the window in the living room.  While we enjoy it and get some slight satisfaction of helping out a feathered friend (especially fun to watch while we’re eating chicken), it’s mostly there for cat entertainment.

Last night, I looked over to see Zoey very intently staring down a bird.  Franny ran over, so I figured it must be Dave Cat (the neighborhood cat that comes to visit us on occasion) out there again or something.  And that’s when I saw it… a raccoon, right up to the window, looking me over with a surprised look that could have only been matched by the one on my face.  And then he turned back to Zoey and the two focused their eyes on one another very intently.  My guess… they were both wondering if they had been separated from birth.

zoey-in-box

raccoon
I’m just waiting for Zoey to approach me wanting to know more about his birth parents.  Particularly - were they ever made into caps?

Stop And Smell The…

Saturday, July 11th, 2009

When we added Sherlock to the mix of Franny and Zoey (you’ll remember that Tilly never fit in with the other two), it added a lot more running around, a lot more brushing, a lot more competition over stick and a lot more… butt sniffing.  This has become quite the greeting ritual at our house (Brandon and I choose not to participate in the brown nosing). My guess is that God was getting a little loopy when He put that instinct into them (this was right before the creation of duckbilled platypi).

Zoey on crack

Zoey on crack

Yesterday this picture was backwards. It was Sherlock taking a whiff of Zoey.  And he was really getting in there.  I mean really. And that’s when we realized that the sniffing had turned into cleaning.  Nothing says, “You’re my best buddy in the whole, wide world” like a tongue up the rear… and that’s why we can no longer be friends.