a tasty morsel

So I was out speaking with one of the neighbors last night, and apparently the rumor around the neighborhood with the kids is that our house is haunted (enter thunder clap and spooky organ music). It’s most likely because they rarely saw the previous owner, and when they did she would yell at you if you stepped or even mowed part of her yard.  I explained to the neighbor that she was more than welcome to mow any or all of our yard, and that we wouldn’t even speak harshly to her if she does.

Or it could be because we have ghosts living in our house.  When Brandon was home sick (again, not homesick), he said the bathroom door opened all by itself.  Apparently it was somewhat of a rude ghost, because he (like squirrels, all ghosts are male) didn’t have the courtesy to flush nor did he wash his hands!  If you’re going to occupy my house, and you’re not going to pay rent, there are certain rules that must be followed.  Hand washing is definitely one of them.  Just because germs can’t make you any deader, doesn’t give you the right to bring the rest of us down with you.

In addition to rules, I think you’re going to need to do tricks.  We should at least get some entertainment out of the situation.  Watson suggested levitating cats (obviously only Franny, cause Zoey exceeds the maximum weight limit for floating).  You follow what I have to say and we won’t call the people on craigslist to get rid of you (No, really, it’s true.  In addition to buying a horse, you can get ghostbusters on craigslist.  They are taking over the world.).

I’m afraid to say that I have nothing else to talk about besides the house. Actually, I’m suspecting that my IQ has been compromised by paint fumes, and my brain just can’t take in information outside of my immediate surroundings, which seems to be the new place for the past couple of weeks. I’m hoping that I have remembered to feed the cats. Though I suppose Zoey could probably live for weeks on what he’s stored up.

Actually, when Brandon looked at cat doors at Home Depot the other day, they came in two sizes: normal cat and… chubby cat. Oh, Zoey. Bless his heart… literally.

So rather than getting into further nonsense, let’s appease Liz, and look at some pictures.

You remember the living room before:

Well, take a look at it now!

New paint, new lighting, new varnish and Dave! We can’t decide if we should leave him there or move him to the back right corner. Thoughts?

While you’re considering that, let’s take a look at the bedroom before:

And the bedroom after:

New paint, new lighting and new varnish.

And finally, let’s move to the kitchen, dining area.

And now:

New floor, new lighting, new varnish and of course… new orange paint. I’ve always said that if I were to ever go to a party where colors were invited, I’d want to talk to orange the most.  Now I can talk to orange, and even offer it something refreshing to drink.

We don’t even move in until tomorrow. I hope this won’t require greater brain function. I may be in trouble. Gotta… do… stuff… or something.

Oh my goodness.  It has been forever since I’ve blogged.  These poor morsels are losing their taste.  So sorry about that.  You can imagine where I’ve been spending my time should you have read two posts down.  It has been insane… like Tom Cruise insane.

We have had to clear out a bunch of someone else’s crap, which we’re still doing.  We got so excited when we took 10 boxes of books to Half Priced Books, fantasizing of all the things that we would buy with the money… paint or bedding or stain for the deck.  Anxiously we went to the counter to find that we got… eleven dollars.  So we went to Burger King.   No wonder they left those books behind.  We probably have another 15 boxes or so.  Maybe we’ll save them up for when we want to go to Wendy’s.

With the help of Brandon’s dad and step-mom, we’ve been fixing up the house.  I get a little giddy thinking about it.  We’ve pretty much painted most rooms (I got roller hand for a while, but I’ve recovered).  And the light fixtures… oh the light fixtures how I love thee.   And the kitchen floor… and the woodwork… and the… is anyone else getting hot and bothered?  No?  Really?  You know the kitchen is orange, right?

Sorry I’ve come to the blog without pictures.  I will try to get some soon.  There’s been no time to stop and take pictures even if I wanted.  But I will, because I plan on never leaving the house once we get it finished.  I’d like to now think that the lady that sat on her toilet for 2 years had just finished painting it.  I’ll go ahead and ask that should I become attached to any piece of furniture or appliance in the house, you have permission to call 911.  But just know, I’ll probably resist.

and about 1,000 books, 4 basketballs, 3 jock straps, a ladder, a Jello mold in the shape of a flag, a whole bunch of tools, about 500 magazines and one of my favorites… a child’s first lost tooth.  We closed on the house on Friday, the homeowner left at 7pm, we went over at 7:30 to discover that we are now the proud owners of 1 house and a pack rat’s fantasy.  I was extremely discouraged at first, but then it kind of became like going to a garage sale without having to bring cash.  You don’t believe me?  Click on the thumbnails to see the pictures that prove it:

kitchen

living room

master (amazingly empty… for the most part)

Brandon (not junk) sorting through books in the Den

basement

garage

So yeah, going into the house on Friday, was a bit anti-climatic.  In addition to owning a thrift store, we had also forgotten to turn on the electricity and water.

Among the “treasures” found in the house from this couple in the midst of a nasty divorce was this tape series:

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families… still in its original wrapping.

I know that the house that we want is somewhere under there.  Must.  Find.  House.  I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy the challenge at least a little bit.  I shall conquer this house, and when I do, I will plant my flag proudly, claiming it as Gregory Kingdom… and by “plant my flag”, I mean make Jello in my new flag mold.