a tasty morsel

Child’s Play

janelle — Sat, 04 Sep 2010 14:02:59 +0000

I’m still searching the web for deals and free things. It’s what you do when you have the urge to shop, but you can’t leave the couch. And in doing so, I’ve found another new favorite site of mine, Money Saving Moms. Nope, you haven’t misses anything. No gestating by me. Just lookin’ to save a buck.

One of the posts features an offer to write reviews for shopping.com for $1 per review. If you know me at all, you know that one of my favorite things to do is offer unsolicited advice and opinions. This sounded like the perfect opportunity!

So I went searching through the various products up for review. I made it past the watches, the dehumidifiers, the dvd players, etc., and got down to Personal Care. Certainly I could find something to write about there. Oral B B SmartSeries 4000 Rechargeable Toothbrush? Nope. IDEAL AmiLean Cellulite Slimming Lotion? Nope. Lego Space Police Freeze Ray Frenzy Set? Nope. Wait. Lego Space Police Freeze Ray Frenzy Set?!!

Certainly it’s no the same stackable, inter-locking blocks that defined much of my childhood! So I clicked -

Sure enough! It is!! It’s been a while since I’ve played with Legos, but I don’t recall buying them for my health. Can the freeze rays freeze off some cellulite? If so, I give this product 5 stars!! Legos… to your health!!

Body Rolls

janelle — Thu, 02 Sep 2010 23:57:03 +0000

It’s not often that I share videos in the morsels, but when I got this one from my friend, Amy, I knew that it must be shared. I’m generally the last to know, so I’m sure most of you have seen this before. Though I did just learned this new dance called the Macarena. Very catchy. You’ll love it!

And while I’ve never done LSD, I’m certain that there is very little difference between an acid trip and this video.

Just remember, the first step is denial. Don’t even try to tell me you don’t want more.

Getting Fresh With You

janelle — Thu, 02 Sep 2010 03:49:06 +0000

You may have noticed a new link under the blogroll recently. That’s because the deviant wife has a new, amazing food blog. You should definitely check out Megan and her Fresh Fridge

And as a special treat, Brandon is the first guest blogger! He made grilled chili sweet potatoes that I nearly have inappropriate feelings for. Yes, they are that good. He should really have his own food blog. The only problem is that between Alison’s Gimme Some Oven, The Fresh Fridge and his, I might be tempted to cook… Whoa. Did you just feel that too? That was freaky there for a second.

But cooking requires standing (or an accessible kitchen), and since I can’t even manage to get that one right lately, I’ll just stick to my tasty morsels on here.

May The Force Be With Shoe

janelle — Sun, 29 Aug 2010 23:17:05 +0000

There is very little good about an aircast, but there is silver lining to this cloud (though I question the actual value of a silver lining - never heard, “My, have you seen the silver linings in the sky today? Spectacular!”). On day 3 I realized this awesome upside, which is that an aircast gives you the feeling that you’re slowly turning into a Stormtrooper one limb at a time.

A Little Fishy

janelle — Fri, 27 Aug 2010 22:18:00 +0000

I obviously spent the day at home since anything outside falls beyond my limit of “to the bathroom and back.” This afternoon cats slowly started crawling up on me one by one. That’s when I had this text exchange with Brandon:

Me: I’m covered in cats.

Brandon: Whatever you do, do not act like tuna.

Wrong Way

janelle — Thu, 26 Aug 2010 21:52:04 +0000

The past few days, my foot has been in increasingly more pain. Not so much my toe even (though it’s certainly not time to throw a party for it… but the time will come, oh yes it will). It’s been more the middle of my foot. Last week when I injured my foot again, I was really concerned about my toe since I had spent most of my summer worried about it. I didn’t really put too much weight in what the doctor was telling me about the stress fracture in the middle of my foot.

“Stay off of it,” he said.

“Yes, fine. Whatever. As long as I don’t need surgery for my toe.”

In a strange turn of events, it turns out that I should have listened to his advice. I’m not allowed to take pain killers (not even Advil) since it slows down the healing, and I’ve gone from an orthopedic shoe to an air cast. If it’s not better in 2 weeks, I go to an actual cast. It’s like I’m going the wrong way down a one-way street… on crutches.

My Husband, A Kansas City Mama

janelle — Wed, 25 Aug 2010 21:47:10 +0000

A couple of weeks ago I told you about some of my favorite sites for deals and free stuff (fine, I beat you over the head with it). One of those sites was Kansas City Mamas. Last week the site featured a contest to win a $20 gift card to cookware.com. The theme of the contest was cooking disasters, so I replied with our king cake misfortune of gross proportions. If you’ve not read the story, it’s a must read, but I strongly suggest doing so while wearing Depends or other adult diapers.

I told Brandon about the post, so he decided to reply with his story of setting my kitchen on fire twice while we were dating (Johnny Cash only thought he fell into a burning ring of fire). And today the winner was announced, and it was… Brandon! A real, live Kansas City Mama!!

Brandon - actual Kansas City Mama

Way to go, mama! I’m so proud of you!! Now go cook me something! I’ll get the fire extinguisher ready.

Picture Pages

janelle — Wed, 25 Aug 2010 00:50:50 +0000

It’s been nearly 3 years since Brandon and I said, “I do” in front of friends, family, God and the sound guy, and we’re just now getting around to making our photo album. You can check it out if you want. You can even order it, but that’s when I may have to file a restraining order against you.

-But if you do, there is a special groupon in Dayton today (8/25) for $25 for $100.

Howllowed Ground

janelle — Mon, 23 Aug 2010 02:03:13 +0000

Friday was Brandon’s birthday. There are certain birthdays that people accept better than others. And for those that don’t take them well, it can be very difficult to be around them, let alone live with them. Which is why you should feel badly for Brandon. I don’t know how he’s doing it. This is a hard birthday for me. I’ve only got one year left of being in love with a man in his 20’s. Oh, the horror of it all!!!

And while the devastation of his youth slipping through my wrinkled fingers makes me want to hit the Ensure hard, there is one, and only one, thing that could recesitate this birthday - and my weakening heart: the electrifying power of Three Wolf Moon!! Awoool!! If you don’t know or doubt what I’m talking about, you must read the reviews of Amazon’s Three Wolf Moon t-shirt.

And thus, the best birthday cake in the history of all birthday cakes. Please turn off Jerry Springer, put in your teeth, stand, and remove your breathe if your horny cap for:

I can only imagine what this is doing for you right now. Soak it all in! Run, do not walk, (shoot, at this point you can probably fly!) to your nearest truck stop and just see if they don’t give you a bag of pork rinds and a Cherry Coke slushie for free. And then tell me if they do. You know how I love free stuff.

Medium Rare-ly Seen Like This

janelle — Sat, 21 Aug 2010 14:18:59 +0000

Yesterday, I was doing the crossword puzzle in the USA Today (a cause for full mockery by those that do the puzzle in the New York Times), and I looked up to see the classifieds on the top portion of the page. There was one that particularly caught my eye because of the picture. And then I read the note below.

It started out so sweet, and then… wait… is this guy? Is he dead? And that’s when it hit me! We’ve been trying to communicate with the dead through mediums, ouija boards, and the like. Little did we know that they read the USA Today!!