a tasty morsel

It’s not often that I share videos in the morsels, but when I got this one from my friend, Amy, I knew that it must be shared. I’m generally the last to know, so I’m sure most of you have seen this before. Though I did just learned this new dance called the Macarena. Very catchy. You’ll love it!

And while I’ve never done LSD, I’m certain that there is very little difference between an acid trip and this video.

Just remember, the first step is denial. Don’t even try to tell me you don’t want more.

Don’t worry, I already know what you’re doing Wed., Sept 8th. You’re going to the Over the Rhine concert at Crosstown Station. So go ahead and buy your tickets. Spread the word!

I’m on week three of Operation Toe Recovery, and the battle is far from over. A most valuable lesson learned: it’s a myth that the size of the body part determines the length of recovery. So no, size does not matter.

The good thing is that I’ve had lots of help through this process. Brandon has been amazing, coworkers have brought us food, friends have given rides and run errands and one gave perhaps one of the best things you can give someone that is forced to become one with the couch - Netflix. I’ve known about the idea of getting movies in the mail, but I tend to pick movies by the mood, and I can’t imagine trying to put my moods in queue (”I should be feeling light-hearted for some time, but it looks like angst is just around the corner.”)

But I wasn’t aware of the fabulous Netflix option of Watch It Instantly, which became my bedside nurse for 3 weeks. I’ve watched tons of documentaries (check out Air Guitar Nation and Monster Camp), 13 episdoes of Lie to Me, 84 episodes of Bones and 67 episodes of Prison Break (let alone any other television that I’ve watched, including season 4 of Dexter). As Brandon says, I’m a T.V. warrior!

So this warrior shall persevere, and give everything to fight the good fight…  from the couch, that is.

If you’re not already aware of it, Over the Rhine is your favorite band. You’re welcome. Back in December, Brandon and I went to their concert at the Taft Theater in Cincinnati, and out of it came this gem of a cover - Neil Young’s “Long May You Run.”

If you’re reading this, I owe you an apology. Why? Because I watched over 1/2 The Bachelor while a pile of laundry coats our closet floor (I close my eyes and pretend that I care about the water I’m saving, and impress myself with how green I am being) and I found myself thinking, “Please don’t choose her.”

As the reader of at least one tasty morsel, you deserve better than this. Because not only did I watch over 1/2 The Bachelor, I also watched much of the show that followed, Conveyor Belt of Love. Grown man after barely grown man traveled slowly across a stage on a conveyor belt  with 60 seconds to convince 5 women that at least one of them should choose to go out on a date with him. And then, my former readers, I called Brandon in from the other room to make him watch how the pretty blond said that she wanted to go on another date with the Chris Farley impersonating, wine connoisseur.

I am on this walk of shame in front of you tonight, and wish I could say that it won’t happen again… but I so enjoy the taste of blood from a good train wreck (tasty, fleshy morsels).

Arrested Development - Gone

Pushing Daisies - Poof!

Somehow my favorite T.V. shows have a tendency to disappear, so I feel it my personal campaign to keep a new gem of brilliance on the air. Believe it or not, one of the best new shows happens to be on USA. Yes, I know… the same network that brings us WWE Raw. And next to that prize of a show, we find my new precious - White Collar.

White Collar is a crime comedy that I describe as being the sequel to Catch Me if You Can. Neal Caffrey, a conman (of the hot variety), is on a work-release program from prison working with the FBI to catch white collar criminals. There’s an underlying plot about Neal looking for his girlfriend, Kate.

It’s best to start with the pilot, though I’m not sure how to find it. You may have to wait until January to catch it in a marathon of episodes. But please watch it. Pretty please… with identity theft and forgery on top.

You only think you know me if you don’t know that my favorite band is Over the Rhine. I realize that this new awareness comes as a shock to some of you. I’m sorry. I’m just not that into you.

If you’ve never seen this band live, then I feel for you. I really do. Their songs are lyrically and musically magical, and their sincere, quirky, fun-loving personalities woven into every show put you into a trance of bliss.

Don’t believe me? Let the trance begin!

and once you’ve recovered, take this:

Those are two minuscule morsels of what you get when you actually see them. The good news is that they are touring right now. And if you’re in Kansas City, they will be here a week from Tuesday (the 18th - buy your tickets here). It’s safe to say that I will be busy that night and will not be answering my phone. I don’t care if it’s an emergency! I don’t care if you’re going to the hospital!… unless you’re going because you just found out you have a vanishing twin that needs to be removed. Perhaps I’ll consider it, but I better darn well get to touch it.

We are just days away from what is most certainly the highlight of the year for couch potatoes and surfers alike - Shark Week on The Discovery Channel. It’s a most fascinating week full of our flippered friends - highlighting facts and debunking myths. Did you know that people are 15 times more likely to be killed by falling coconuts than sharks? I look forward to seeing that horror movie one day.

And as this week approaches, I’m reminded of my dream that The History Channel dedicate that same week to jets and their place in aviation history. Shark Week vs. Jet Week. It would be the West Side Story of the Neilsen ratings. Glorious!!! It would be glorious!!

If you like documentaries, crazy people and/or women with scarves on their heads, do I have the recommendation for you!

Grey Gardens, the documentary, has been getting some attention lately since HBO made a movie of the same title (Drew Barrymore - surprisingly not awful in it!). It’s about the eccentric aunt and cousin of Jackie Onassis that lived in this dilapidated house in the Hampton’s with their many cats ( they put extra “crazy” in “crazy cat lady”), raccoons and fleas. I could try to describe it for you, but 1. Even Noah Webster would be at a loss for words and 2. Even if I had the words, any lobotomy-free brain couldn’t possibly comprehend them. Here, check out a clip:

See?

Another recommended viewing would be Flo & Kay: Twin Savants on the Discovery networks. It’s about the lives of identical twin autistic savants with an incredible memory and an obsession with Dick Clark. I put a clip below, but here are the upcoming times for the show on Discovery Health. I smell an Emmy… or that might be popcorn. Hard to distinguish.

Sanity is so boring.