I obviously spent the day at home since anything outside falls beyond my limit of “to the bathroom and back.” This afternoon cats slowly started crawling up on me one by one. That’s when I had this text exchange with Brandon:
Me: I’m covered in cats.
Brandon: Whatever you do, do not act like tuna.
Franny - the ultimate settler of Catan
I'll trade you all the cards in my hand for catnip
2 in this household are walking with their heads held a little higher today. And let me just tell you it’s not the two that are walking upright (I can barely walk at all at this point, which should have been your first clue).
Franny and Sherlock are featured on the website for Feliway, a pheromone diffuser to calm cats (imagine a glade plug-in with the scent of Xanax). The testimony isn’t an exaggeration. The product really works. and yes, I realize that posting this means that we must admit that we have sunken into the bowels of Johnson County. “Dear Erem, things are rough here in America. 2 of our 3 cats aren’t getting along, and I’m afraid they’re leaving clumps of fur on our new carpet. Please pray, and send pheromones!”
I called the vet’s office today to ask if they could send some syringes home with Zoey to make it easy to give him his oral rinse (gotta have fresh breath for the ladies). Brandon picked him up, and had this conversation with the vet receptionist -
Receptionist: Your mother called earlier and wanted to send these syringes home with Zoey.
Brandon: My mother?
Receptionist: Your… wife?
Brandon: Yeah, my wife.
Receptionist: Oh, well you look younger than you are.
Granted, I don’t know that I have ever seen her since I drop him off so early (him being Zoey - Brandon can drive himself now!), but still. Mother?!!! Do I have the voice of a 50 year-old? I don’t smoke. I have both vocal chords. Sigh… cough, cough, cough, gasp.
It does make me want to put these decals on the back of my car, though:
I wonder if Cousin Itt looked like Sherlock when he was young.
Everyone knows that cats are notorious for hiding… at least most cats are. Ours seem to do it infrequently, but they do take the opportunity from time to time. I happened to catch Zoey in the act the other day. I figured it was a rare moment, so I thought I’d get it on film… which isn’t so much film, as it is a memory card. If you look closely in the below picture, you’ll be able to spot him. It’s hard though. He’s very sneaky. Look for the eyes.
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As Brandon says for Zoey, “I’m not so good at this whole being a cat thing.”
I’m not going to lie to you. This blog post is a little shocking.
The other day I had lunch with my friend of 11 years, and she says, “Did I ever tell you that I had a cat that gave birth to a two-headed kitten? I even have a picture of it.” And then she showed me this:
See, I told you - shocking! It’s unbelievable… that I would have a friend that would hold out on me like this. She knows my love of medical oddities.
Just when you thought you knew someone.
A couple of weeks ago, I mentioned that my beloved was one sexy, ordinary saint. Well, my friends (and the rest of you), I have joined him in ordinary sainthood.
I must admit, that without a ceremony it seemed a bit mundane. But what it lacked in pomp, it made up for in fabulousness! My hot and holy picture was featured on the cover of the bulletin (seems insignificant… except we’ve got like 8,000 people that come to our church every weekend) as well as on the website this week (we’re actually both on there this week, making it possibly the sexiest church website ever!). Check out my debut of sainthood.
Brandon thought the picture looked more mischievous than saintly. In his mind it was:
Let me tell you, it’s not easy being an ordinary saint. I have yet to decide on my saint day. I’m considering October 26th, as I’d get to share it with Alfred the Great. I don’t know anything about him, but from his name, I’d guess that he’s the patron saint of nerds that do Live Action Role Playing (yes - I see the redundancy in that sentence).
Plus, I’m finding it difficult to perform ordinary miracles. Brandon’s first miracle came so easy to him. What am I doing wrong? I thought for sure that I’d at least get something for free. Or that maybe my jeans would fit looser. I wasn’t expecting the Chiefs to win or anything (I’ll leave that up to the extraordinary saints), but just something! I’ll keep you updated as the saintliness progresses.
Dave Cat paid our cats a visit the other night. I’m pretty sure he’s got owner envy, but unfortunately for him, no matter how much he makes his eyes glow, we are NOT taking in another cat. Though I do wish our cats could make their eyes glow every once in a while.
I hate that most people are finding out this way, but we have news. And trust me, we were as shocked to find out as I am sure many of you will be. I suppose by the title you’ve already guessed it, but just in case you haven’t… Sherlock is going to be a daddy!! I know! We didn’t even know he was trying.
Yesterday we got an email from the lady that fostered him giving us the big news. We knew that there was a slight possibility. While there, he had been separated once he started showing signs that he was interested in knowing the ladies… in the Biblical sense of the word. But the day before he came to live with us, the day he got neutered, a maintenance technician left the door open and Sherlock got out and started making his moves. I’m guessing that he figured that he had one last day to use the thing, so he better make it count. Our little Don Juan made his Mark-o.
But now he’s done with her, and he’s come to love the embrace of another cat - Zoey. Check it out:
I’m worried that this is creating yet more gender identity issues for Zoey.